How can it be? I can forget what I did yesterday. I can even forget why I went to the supermarket as soon as I arrive. But I remember every second of an event 35 years ago that changed my life forever.
I was only 3 when I began putting ‘David Mark” and all my other dolls in a line and pretended they were my children. I know, David Mark? It was the name my mother told me she and my dad would have named me had I been a boy. I supposes I called my doll David Mark so that they were not too disappointed even though they never gave me reason to think they were.
I have wanted to be a mother all my life so it may seem strange to think that by the time I turned 14 I had fallen in love with a beautiful boy who would never be able to have his own children. It was Australia day and the surf was up. The sea rose and fell into white bubbles of inviting froth. or so they told me. I was not there. The boy I had a crush on had said something harsh to me the day before, I can’t remember what, and I didn’t feel like going to the beach that day. A phone call came around 4 pm that evening. It was Judy. He had dived in to the surf. They think he broke his neck. He’s in a really bad way. He might die.
Dear God, Please don’t let him die. I, I, I…. promise… to marry him if he doesn’t die.
He didn’t die.
I was 20 and he was 22. Our marriage began and ended in love. It was a life time in 4 years. We watched our beloved dog be run over and healed our souls with another months later. We travelled and tried and we laughed and we cried.
Israel called to me. Our first conversation was, How many children do you want? As many as come. I chose him.
On the day of her birth I was excited and incredulous. Can I really be doing this? After so many years of wanting, praying and yearning can this be really happening? I loved giving birth. My penultimate miracle. From one second to another I became a mother.
And she glowed. She was the most beautiful round perfect sweet baby imaginable. She was exquisite and I just couldn’t believe she was ours. Becoming a mother for me is akin to sliding through an invisible portal into a new universe. Nothing could or would ever be the same. And I rejoiced. I still rejoice. Thirty-five years today, of rejoicing.
Happy birthday to our first born angel. When times are tough remember you can fly above the world and look down and see the difficulty is only a speck in the grand and endless cosmos of life.
We gave you deep roots and wide wings as we did with all our five angels. Perhaps there is no greater gift a parent can give a child.
Comments (6)
Jan Thompson
Sharon, I am so GLAD I'm on your blog/website list. It is always a joy to read about your thoughts and now, your wonderful daughter. I wish I could fly over (to Israel?to Australia?), wherever you are and give you a big hug. Be well my friend, Jan
Sharon
I am so happy to hear from you Jan.I am in Australia and a hug from you would be so wonderful.We are planning to do a cruise and trip in the States in 2018 so maybe we can meet somewhere then?
Pamela Baker
We make memories today, to be squirrelled away in case the day comes when we are no longer able to make, or hold onto them. We pray that day never comes, but if it does, it's family you remember; those faces that resemble, and remind us of ourselves. There is no more unique experience than being a parent. No matter how confronting it can be, it's an experience you wouldn't want to miss out on. You share so much in your newsletters Sharon, and as usual, they remind me what a blessing family is even if it is challenging at times.
Sharon
Hi Pamela, I love the idea of 'squirrelling away memories.' Sitting with family and friends and remembering shared moments is definitely one of life's sweet gifts.
Helena
Dear Sharon, Thank you so much for sharing your precious memories and thoughts with me. I love reading your blog. Love Helena
Sharon
Thank you Helena, Your are often in my thoughts and always in my heart.