Having just become an authorised marriage celebrant it’s only natural that marrying couples who are in love is the main intention.
During the course we covered every legal nuisance that is a marriage celebrants obligation to uphold.
The couple must think about time, place, location, guests, clothes, theme… you name it there are hundreds of things to decide.
The celebrant needs to know how to fill out the forms and where to send them. Who signs what and who witnesses those signatures. The celebrant needs to learn what the couple want to share and how they want it shared.
One of the most beautiful aspects of a marriage is the saying of the vows to each other.
There are the mandatory vows which have to be said in the presence of the celebrant and two witnesses, and the vows have to be spoken to each other.
There are hundreds, no thousands of possible vows couples can choose to make to each other. Vows that proclaim love, kindness, playfulness, tidiness, acceptance, respect, faithfulness and support.
And we say these promises to another with all our heart on that special day.
BUT who among us has imagined marrying yourself? Who of us has fallen in love with who we are and appreciated who and what we have become? Who of us has promised to be kind to yourself no matter what mistake we make? Have you promised to cook a nourishing dinner for yourself at least once a week because you are worth the effort?
Have you set the table for yourself and put on some beautiful music as you sip a glass of your favorite drink and slowly enjoyed the most delicious meal…. alone? Have you vowed not to get too stressed, to go sleep at a reasonable time, to make your bed every day and to sit quietly in nature appreciating the gift you are to yourself and to others?
I’m all for marrying couples who are in love but I’m also exploring what it might mean to marry yourself regardless of whether we marry someone else or not.
I love this. How can we love someone else if we can’t love ourselves?!?! I taught this today to an amazing group of women who are survivors of domestic violence. I gave them a worksheet and asked them to make a loving vow/commitment to themselves. We talked about ‘loving yourself’. I asked them to think about what they love about themself. They didn’t have anything to say. It’s sad to think that so many of us don’t love ourselves. So many of us have never been taught that loving yourself is not a bad thing. That loving yourself is so important. Thank you for sharing this
Dearest Mary, Your work is both sacred and precious.When women and indeed men have experienced the emotional and physical battering of those with whom you work I understand how hard it is, initially, to remember the beauty of their being.I have no doubt they will soon remember as they continue to work with you.
Wise and beautiful post, dear Sharon. There should actually be such ceremonies!
Thank you Joyce. I would love to create such ceremonies. What a joy that would be.
Hello, dear Sharon! I married my memories long time ago, I am grateful to The Universe for everything I have been experiencing in my life, one of my dearest memories being having met you in New Zealand years ago! Sending you hugs and love, Paulina! 🙋♀️💞
Dearest Paulina, I too hold the memory of our meeting in a sacred place in my heart.I hope you are well and that life is treating you with love and compassion.
I thought about this long and deep. I have been on my own now for 20+ years after 2 failed relationships and my answer is yes, I feel I already have married myself. No divorcing this time round! Enjoying my own company, I'm an understanding loving partner. I listen to my inner voice as occasionally I need to pull myself up and give 'me' a stern talking to due to self doubt and self sabotage. I respond fast after these chats, without judgement or ridicule as I totally understand why I chose to derail. Accepting my own faults and working on improving any short falls is a lifes work in progress. Choosing to live out my latter years with just me by my side has been the best for my self growth and calm.
ew broken relationships to remember the one person who has the power to love us unconditionally and with compassion and honesty is our self.